Updated: Jan 13
I recently played the role of Catherine in the play Proof by David Auburn. It was a role that moved me deeply.
Proof is a play for anyone who has had a burning desire to follow an idea, question or calling. The quest toward formation of an idea or project (may it be in math, art, writing, etc...) takes real hard work; you have to slog your way through, not knowing if the work will result in anything concrete.
...yet for those of us who have been struck with a burning question, desire, or idea that won't go away, what do we do?
Well, sometimes we keep working because despite what is rational, we have no choice but to answer the calling of the question. Or sometimes fear, life, perfectionism, and confusion becomes too great and we abandon the question, but then we must ask, "What happens to a dream deferred?"
To continue following the calling of an idea, we must have courage to keep asking questions and keep working - sometimes late into the night. We must let go of the fear of imperfection and perceived judgement from others so we can follow the calling within our own souls and minds. We have to trust that we have our own questions to answer. And our own answers to find. We must work to connect the dots until they make a picture - not always knowing if there is a next dot or when that dot will appear. Not always knowing if anyone will see it, appreciate it, be affected by it (although we can't help but hope), or if it even matters if it is seen. The question and answer is ours.
So, day by day, night after night, we keep seeking and working - in the hope that the picture we see in our heads will take form before our eyes.
I guess this is faith. Faith that there is something greater than us and it is calling. Wanting us to find it. It is faith in the power of creation. And it is all pretty magical (but still takes work).